Will’s ExperienceNavigating Life as a Single Parent After an Incurable Cancer Diagnosis
For Will, adjusting to life as a single parent has been both a challenge and a journey of resilience. Following his wife Simona’s diagnosis with incurable bowel cancer in 2021, their world changed in an instant. However, with the support of the Ruth Strauss Foundation, Will found guidance, connection, and the strength to support his daughters, Sophie and Florence, through the most difficult period of their lives.
Through peer support, expert counselling, and support from friends and family, Will and Simona learned how to prepare their children for the realities of living with a parent’s incurable cancer while maintaining a sense of normality and hope.
A Family’s Story: From Diagnosis to Adapting as a Single Parent
“I met with Simona in 2002, officially started dating in 2003, and got married in 2007. When she was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer on 21 March, 2021, we were told she had between two to three years,” Will recalls.
Like any family facing an incurable cancer diagnosis, their priority was finding the best possible medical care. “At first, it’s all-consuming. It’s about getting the right treatment, the right chemotherapy options, and just figuring out what happens next,” Will explains. But beyond the medical side, another pressing question quickly emerged: how do you tell your children?
As parents, Will and Simona wanted to be upfront and honest with their daughters. “What do you even say? One day, you know nothing about bowel cancer, and the next, you’re trying to explain to your kids that Mum won’t be around as much, that she’ll be in the hospital a lot, and that things will change,” Will says.
That’s when they reached out to the Ruth Strauss Foundation. “I remember contacting them at 24 hours’ notice before Simona was due for a major operation. I was completely overwhelmed and needed to explain to the girls what was happening without completely terrifying them. Within an hour, I had an email back with guidance on how to approach the conversation. It was all incredibly practical and realistic,” he recalls.
Balancing Parenthood and Anticipatory Grief
From the very beginning, Will knew he would eventually be raising his daughters alone. “That realisation hits you hard. You’re going to be a single parent soon, and that’s something I had to get my head around quickly,” he admits.
Despite this, Will and Simona made a conscious effort to keep life as normal as possible. They took their daughters to concerts, sporting events, and even managed to see Pink in Hyde Park, knowing it would be their last big family outing.
“We did some great things, but it was tough. I took my daughter to her entrance exams, got her through her school interview, and we managed to video call Simona from the hospital when we opened the letter confirming she got in. These are the moments you hold on to,” Will shares.
But as Simona’s condition progressed, Will leaned on peer support from the Ruth Strauss Foundation, joining their Peer Support Group for Parents. “It was a strange situation. Seven of us, joining a Zoom call, all with one thing in common: our partners were living with incurable cancer. It was a place where you could say the things you couldn’t say out loud in ‘normal’ conversations. Sometimes it was dark, sometimes it was funny, but it was a space where we could be honest without judgment.”
How Children Process an Incurable Cancer Diagnosis
Throughout Simona’s illness, Will noticed how differently his daughters processed what was happening. “My eldest, is just like her mum—practical, composed, and focused. She tells me, ‘Dad, you don’t have to cry now. Do it at night, in your own time.’ I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not, but that’s how she copes.”
Their youngest on the other hand, is more expressive. “She would often cry herself to sleep. It’s been a learning curve for all of us,” Will admits.
The Ruth Strauss Foundation provided invaluable support in helping Will communicate with his daughters. “The advice they gave me was simple: be honest, and provide age-appropriate details. The last thing I wanted was for them to be caught off guard or feel like I’d kept things from them.”
That openness made a difference. “The girls knew their mum was sick. They knew what chemotherapy did. They even helped personalise her medical bag, drawing pictures on it. They accepted that hospital visits were part of our routine. By normalising those conversations, we removed some of the fear.”
Adjusting to Life as a Single Parent
Since Simona’s death, life has changed dramatically for Will and his daughters. “I left my job in November because working a 9-to-5 office job while raising two daughters alone just wasn’t feasible. So now I’m a part-time pastry chef. It’s completely different, but the hours work for me as a single parent.”
While it’s been an immense adjustment, Will remains focused on ensuring his daughters feel supported. “I worry about their future. Who wouldn’t? Losing your mum before your teenage years is something that shapes you. But thanks to the support of our family, and the Ruth Strauss Foundation, we are navigating this new normal.”
The Power of Support Networks for Single Parents
For Will, leaning on a strong support network has been essential. “Losing your best friend, your rock, means you suddenly have to rely on others in a way you never imagined. The people I met through the Ruth Strauss Foundation’s support group became my community. They understood what I was going through in a way no one else could.”
Beyond emotional support, practical help from family, friends, and schools made a difference. “Schools play a massive role. They spend more time with my kids during the day than I do. Both schools immediately put support plans in place. My youngest even had a learning mentor she could visit anytime she needed.”
Recognising this, the Ruth Strauss Foundation is now working on a schools programme to provide training for teachers on how to support children experiencing anticipatory grief. “It’s vital. Schools will always have children facing these situations, and having staff trained to handle it makes all the difference,” Will says.
Supporting Families Like Will’s
The Ruth Strauss Foundation continues to provide essential resources for families living with incurable cancer. Through peer support, counselling, and school outreach programmes, we are making a real difference in the lives of single parents and their children.
If you or someone you know could benefit from our support, reach out today. You don’t need to navigate this journey alone.
Moving Forward with Strength and Purpose
Will is still adjusting. “I ran the London Marathon 100 days after Simona died. It was my way of processing everything. I don’t know why, but men seem to respond to adversity by taking on ridiculous physical challenges,” he smiles.
For his daughters, the journey continues. “We have plenty of challenges ahead. But we are moving forward—together.”
Looking back, Will doesn’t regret a single decision. “I think we did everything right. We reached out for support as soon as we could, and it made all the difference. I had a couple of counselling sessions with the Ruth Strauss Foundation after Simona’s death, just to check in. Because grief doesn’t just disappear—it evolves. And having that continued support is invaluable.”
When asked what advice he’d give to others in similar situations, Will doesn’t hesitate…
”“Reach out early. Don’t wait until things become unbearable. The sooner you seek support, the better equipped you’ll be to handle everything that comes next.”
WillSimona's Husband
Frequently Asked Questions
What is anticipatory grief counselling, and how is it different from traditional grief counselling?
Anticipatory grief counselling helps individuals and families cope with the emotional and practical challenges that arise before the death of a loved one. Unlike traditional grief counselling, which occurs after death, this type of counselling focuses on preparing emotionally, addressing fears, and fostering resilience during the period leading up to dying.
How can anticipatory grief counselling help children during a parent’s incurable cancer?
Anticipatory grief counselling equips parents with tools and strategies to support their children through the process. It provides guidance on age-appropriate communication, managing uncertainty, and helping children express emotions healthily. Additionally, a variety of downloadable resources is available here to help navigate these challenging conversations with your children effectively.
Where can families find anticipatory grief counselling services?
Families can access anticipatory grief counselling through organisations like the Ruth Strauss Foundation, or counselling centres specialising in grief. RSF offers group sessions, online support, and 1:1 counselling tailored to individual needs for free. Find out more about the available support here.
