Our Friends & Ambassadors

When Nigel was 15, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she died two years later when he was 17. Looking back, he remembers how little was spoken about her illness. “We didn’t have forms of communication, and my siblings and I were kept out of the loop. It seemed like something that was very much kept away from us.”

After her death, he struggled to process his grief. “We didn’t talk about it at all – we lived our grief in isolation. Each of us dealt with it separately because there was no open communication from the start.”

He recalls how this silence left him emotionally numb for years. “If you’d asked me to do this interview 20 years ago, I would have run. I was unable to talk about it back then; my heart shut down for years.”

Today, as an ambassador for the Ruth Strauss Foundation, Nigel shares, “If I’d been able to come to the Ruth Strauss Foundation and talk, I think it would have changed my life.” He now advocates for honest conversations with children when a parent is dying, believing that “So much connectivity and love can be born from simply talking about the reality that we are going to die at some point.”

“My dad sadly was diagnosed with lung cancer in January 2024 and passed away in August. Grieving somebody while they’re still alive was a whole new process. It was something we had to come to terms with while trying to enjoy the last months with Dad.

Myself, my brother and sister didn’t think the year could get any worse – we’d already lost a best friend as well as our Dad. Then in December, our mum sadly passed away too, after battling alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Guilt, anger, sadness – they all ran through my core as I tried to understand why all this had happened.

Seeing the work and awareness raised by the Ruth Strauss Foundation gives me hope. For those who’ve lost a parent, it’s a lonely place to be. Having love and compassion around you is the only help we can give.

Sport has, and always will be a huge part of my life – and it has been my saving grace over this last year. Grief never fully leaves us. We just learn to understand it and sit with it.”

Harriet’s husband, Rob, a fit and healthy RAF pilot, was diagnosed with incurable stage IV lung cancer when their children were seven and five. “It felt incredibly isolating. The Foundation gave us reassurance that we weren’t the only people going through this.”

She remembers how Rob approached his illness: “He had such a fire in him to make a difference and was always there to help and support others.” After he died in April 2023, Harriet continues to draw strength from his legacy. “I know he would want me to be brave and make a difference too.”

Professor of Psychology, Research Trustee at EGFR Positive UK, and mother of two, Gini was diagnosed with stage IV non-smoking lung cancer while on maternity leave. “I genuinely couldn’t believe it. It felt like my world suddenly collapsed and made no sense.”

Despite never having smoked, she developed a rare EGFR mutation. “I always linked lung cancer to smoking. I certainly never thought it was something that could happen to me and not at such a young age.”

Gini campaigns for better awareness and psychological support, emphasising, “Patients often leave discussions feeling confused or uncertain, which can increase their anxiety and distress. Therefore, we need to focus on clear, empathetic communication to truly meet their needs during such challenging times.”

Her message is one of hope: “First of all, don’t panic! I know when you are first diagnosed with cancer it can feel like the end is near, that’s not necessarily the case anymore. In the last couple of months alone I have met several long-term survivors… If it can happen to them, it can happen to you!”

When Sam’s partner Matt was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour in 2020, their children were just seven and eight. “My initial feelings were ‘When do we tell them, how do we tell them, and what do we tell them?’ It took Matt some persuading to tell the kids. He was quite taken aback by using the word ‘cancer’.”

Having lost her own father as a child, Sam wanted to support Josh and Poppy differently. “Having lost my Dad, it made it easier to put myself in their shoes.”

With support from the Ruth Strauss Foundation, they prepared their children for what was coming. “When Matt died, the children said to me ‘I always knew what was going to happen’ and I think that’s why they’ve fared so well.”